BODY LANGUAGE/MAKING A FRIEND

When you meet your client for the first time, they are prejudging you just as you are prejudging them.  They are deciding what kind of a person you are, and you are deciding if they can purchase. Where my sales were made or lost, I have no idea.  But, I always knew our subconscious minds notice everything. Our programming to constantly scan our surroundings  goes back for thousands of years. We are constantly looking for threats or the kind face in the crowd that we can become friends with and trust.

So, what makes that face in the crowd appear to be kind and trustworthy? How do we know they are friendly? More importantly, can we use this so our clients will see us as friends when we first meet them? Science has done many studies about this. They have found that facial expressions, how you stand, and body language, all attribute to those we perceive as kind, attractive, trustworthy or possible friends.

Facial expressions and body language to use when greeting your clients:

Standing: Be careful what your body is telling your clients as when you meet them for the first time. Standing in a wide stance with your arms crossed sends the message of arrogance and uninterested. The same stance with your hands on your hips is a dominate stance and sends the message you're not friendly. When you meet your clients for the first time, have a narrow relaxed stance with a smile on your face and a slight tilt of your head.

Eye Contact: Don't stare at your clients as they come in the door. Eye contact should last no longer than about one second. If it lasts more than one second it can be considered non-friendly or even creepy. Looking at them from head to foot can cause the same uncomfortable feelings. Of Course during your presentation you can hold eye contact for more than one second while you're talking to them.

Smile: A real smile where the corners of your mouth go up, your cheeks raise and the wrinkles around your eyes show is a great way to show friendship. It also shows you are kind and trustworthy. People who smile are seen as more attractive. They are seen as kind and trustworthy.  And it signals acceptance. Be cautious with trying to give a real smile as a fake or forced smile can show non interest, deception and non friendship. These smiles tend to be lopsided and the timing on them is off. They also don’t give the face the same look as a real smile and is easily detected by the subconscious mind. Squinting your eyes and furrowing your brows show’s the same deceptiveness as a fake smile.

 

 

 

 

 


Where have your vacations taken you?

 

 


blog blog blog 

 

 

 


Meet Chinese Girls

 

A real smile sends endorphins to the brain.  Endorphins are what make us feel good about ourselves. When you smile at others, it's very hard for them not to smile back at you. Them smiling back at you sends these endorphins to their brain making them feel good. Humans always credit those close to them as to why they feel good. Therefore they credit you with them feeling good, making the feeling of friendship stronger.

Tilt of the head: Peoples whose heads are slightly tilted to the right or left are perceived to be more friendly and more attractive. People who's heads are straight up and down are perceived to be more dominant. While being dominate may be a good thing in a business setting, it's not good when you are selling clients and making friends.

Since we have been killing each other from the beginning of time, It stands to reason that we have been programmed to scan our surrounding for threats.  Its only been over the past hundred years or so that guns have been invented and before guns were invented the weapon of choice was a sword. On either side of your neck there are arteries or veins that, if cut, would result in death in a matter of minutes. Because of this, when you stand with your head tilted it shows trust and friendship.

Handshake: Again a firm handshake shows friendship. When two people would greet each other or have a meeting they would grab each others wrists. they would hold the wrist with both hands during the duration of the meeting. This would show they weren't hiding weapons and didn't have intentions of doing the other bodily harm. We shake hands with the person who is the same sex as us first to show respect.

Body Language during the presentation:

Mirroring: Mirroring another persons body language shows that we are like them. This gives us commonality and shows friendship. If they lean forward, you lean forward. If they cross their arms, you cross your arms, etc. Of course you can't always do exact mirroring. As an example; if a woman is wearing a skirt, it would be unnatural for her to do an open leg cross if the client does. In a case such as this, a closed leg cross will have the same desired affect.

Understandably, many of us believe that clients will notice us doing this and will be upset that we are “mimicking” them. Fortunately the human brain sees mirroring as normal and acceptable and will not cause any unease or suspicion from your guests.

Touch: Touching someone on the shoulder, arm or hand can show honesty and friendship. It can also get the clients attention if you want to be sure he/she is listening to a very important part of your presentation.  Everyones mind wanders every minute or so. Touching their hand shows friendship more powerfully than touching the shoulder or arm.

 


 

Please be cautious and careful when using touch as a tool during your presentation. Touching a woman on the hand when her husband is jealous could cause more than not selling them. There are conditions where people don't want, or can't stand anyone touching them. The act of touching can sometimes lead to very awkward reactions. I had a client once that had a mental impairment. It caused him to scream and fall to the floor when I touched his shoulder, leaving me standing there feeling bad and not knowing what to do.

There are also religions where it is not proper for a man other than a woman husband to touch her. I was in Thailand closing a middle east muslim couple and she was in a full burqa. After I tapped her on the forearm, I spent the rest of the presentation apologizing to her and her husband for not respecting their culture and religion. They were very understanding and told me not to worry about it, but needles to say, Neither one of these clients purchased from me.

Touching someone can cause them to frown, pull their arm away, or can even cause anxiety. Please be cautious with this technique and start slow, watching how it affect your clients. It the clients are negative or they don't seem receptive to being touched, then don’t touch them.

Inward Lean: People lean into people they like and away from people that they don’t. People tilt their heads back to increase distance. This signals that things aren't going well and that they are not seeing you as a friend. They can also turn their body away or reposition their feet away from unwanted visitors.

If they have  interest, they will lean forward in their seats, tilt their head, and nod in agreement. If they don't have interest they will lean back in their chair, roll their eyes or tilt their heads back or forward while nodding off.

Expressive Gestures: People who like each other tend to use more expressive gestures. Using expressive gestures can also help keep the clients attention during the presentation. Talking with your hands, altering the output level of your voice and whispering are all ways to keep interest and to help clients focus on listening.

These are only some examples of how body language can help you make a friend. They can also tell you whether you are keeping your clients attention and keeping them interested. Theres many books written about body language, and it would be beneficial to find  and read some of them.

 Please be cautious and careful when using touch as a tool during your presentation. Touching a woman on the hand when her husband is jealous could cause more than not selling them. There are conditions where people don't want, or can't stand anyone touching them. The act of touching can sometimes lead to very awkward reactions. I had a client once that had a mental impairment. It caused him to scream and fall to the floor when I touched his shoulder, leaving me standing there feeling bad and not knowing what to do.

 

©2010 Timeshareadvisor.net

 

 

 

 

< Greeting

 

Home

 

Warm Up >   

©timeshareadvisor.net 2010

UA-30731439-1